On Family

Yesterday, my inlaws came to spend some time with us. My nephew was promoted in the Army and his parents, uncle, sister, nieces and friends visited our house for the afternoon. It was pleasant to spend the time with family I don't get to see often. But I also got a chance to cook some curried chicken, channa and potato, and some rice. It was topped off with my mom's hot sauce--to die for hot. And we shared some chocolate cake my brother and sister-in-law brought over.

Got me thinking of the blessing that is family. I also marvel at this interesting dynamic of where I fit in on the family continuum. In my married family, I'm one of the "older" adults because of my position with my hubby. He's the youngest of the four siblings, and even though I'm now going to be 40, my hanging peers are my brothers- and sister-in-law who are all well closer to 60 and 70. They are so engaging with the stories and the banter back and forth. Antonio's niece is over 40 and is already a grandmother, and his nephew is a couple of months younger than I am. But because I'm Uncle T's wife, I'm still Aunt Michelle. I marvel at this dynamic especially when it comes to the family I was born into, which is much bigger than my married family.

My mom is one of 10 to a mother who still is one of eight. So, I'm one of the older grandchildren with children. I'm about to have an 18-year-old who's heading to college. So my cousins will be my peers even though I'll hang heavy with my mom's siblings who were much younger when I came about in 1971.

The interesting thing about family is these roles we get to play, and at times the dual and triple roles we may have to play when in different situations. For instance, when I was growing up, when it came to my mother's family, my sister and I were the oldest of the cousins as my mom was the oldest. With my father's family, we were the youngest as he was the youngest of his four brothers. And we got to play these roles as older, wiser caregiver when I babysat my two-year-old cousins when I was 14. Or we get to whine, we want gum, when we were with the older cousins on my dad's side. They were the caregivers.

I can sit back and reflect on these minor roles I've had to play. I'm not sure which I preferred--the opportunity to be the bossy older cousin or the whiny younger one. Each has prepared me for the more flexible and grown up roles I've had to adopt as an adult as wife, mother, reporter, writer, friend, volunteer, public relations specialist, editor, freelancer or just plain Michelle B. Sometimes I still feel like a little girl inside doing all this role playing, although the rest of the world sees me and says I'm a grown a.... woman.